Your Self-Story and Your Self-Esteem
When you awoke this morning what was the first thought that came to mind?
Did you say to yourself, “Ugggghhhh… another Monday. I so don’t want to go to work today.” Did you think about how you didn’t want to get up this morning and how unmotivated you felt to have to go somewhere and be with people you really don’t want to be around?
Perhaps you’re not too thrilled about your life circumstances right now, and maybe your life circumstances are putting you in a perpetual state of sadness, frustration, and depression. I personally have never liked describing myself as “depressed” anytime I was feeling down about myself. I believe wholeheartedly in speaking and thinking positive and empowering thoughts about myself as a way to affirm what it is that I think, want, and believe for my life. So by verbalizing that I feel depressed I am in essence validating and giving power to that thought and idea of myself as true.
My mother suffered from depression and spent years on anti-depressants as she struggled with anxiety issues with her own self-worth and self-image. I could never help her to understand that there was more to life than she was content in believing. The idea of self-esteem and self-worth really dive into areas of psychology and human motivation, of which I won’t get into on this post but we often confuse how other’s treat us as a result of something outside of us vs. the source of that treatment starting within us.
How you treat yourself sets the stage for how other’s treat you.
What positive and empowering things are you saying about yourself, to yourself? What are you saying about yourself to other people?
You should never speak down of yourself under any circumstance. It’s ok to have low moments in life–as we have all had them–but you are more than your circumstances. Your present circumstances are not who you are, but merely a page in the book which is your life. Bad moments just like good moments come and go and with each passing second of time we either choose to be present to the best that life has to offer, or we choose to be present to the worse it has to offer. It’s a choice that begins in your mind–a decision to have more, be more, and do more. A decision to allow only those things that YOU want in your experience at any given moment.
When I say self-story what I mean is this: What story are you creating for yourself in your own mind? Your self-esteem is an innate part of your spiritual and mental conscious and sub-conscious that mirrors to you and others your self-worth. It shows the world what you think of you. If you are telling yourself things less than anything that is serving your highest good you are doing yourself a disservice. You are doing yourself even more of a disservice if you are telling these things to other people.
If you don’t feel that you are the sharpest knife in the draw, fine–keep it to yourself. It does not serve you to broadcast these kinds of messages to others. You are as valuable as you believe you are.
Here are 9 tips to aid in feeling better about yourself in hard times:
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Believe in something greater than you.
There exists forces in this world beyond our reasoning and understanding that control parts of our destiny. Whether it be God, Allah, Jesus Christ, or whatever you believe, there is something to be said about our role in this life. Of the 7+ billion people in this world there is a purpose and calling on your life and you are here for a reason. Find that reason and you will find your why, but it starts with the creator. You were not created to suffer, you were not created to be poor, and you were not created to live a life less than the one your creator purposed for you.
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Face your fears and insecurities head on.
We are all afraid of something. Afraid of the unknown, afraid of tomorrow, afraid of getting into a car accident, and even afraid of living our dreams and being successful. Don’t cower and run away from life’s problems and challenges. It’s easy to throw in the towel in any situation, but the true winners in life that have all of the success that you want and envy are the one’s that tackle fear and insecurity head on.
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Pray.
I personally believe that speaking to God in belief through prayer is one of the most important aspects of pushing through life’s difficulties. Colossians 3:4 says that “God is our life.” Through prayer we are espousing our belief that no matter what befalls us in this physical life, God is truly conspiring to make all things good for our purposes.
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Immerse yourself in positive images and readings.
During a very recent difficult time in my life I frantically found myself immersed in positive and empowering readings and teachings. Everyday I sifted through memes on Instagram searching for positive and empowering messages and quotes. Everything from Deepak Chopra to Tony Robbins and Jack Canfield as well as the Bible. The reason for this is because during times of extreme emotional and mental stress you must find a way to stay motivated and positive about your situation. When the body is sick you find ways to fight back using medication and healing foods. The same principle applies to your emotional and mental health during tough times.
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Be present to the positive things that are right in front of you.
At anytime during a particular struggle that you have experienced in your life I can more than guarantee that someone was always telling you to “look on the bright side”. Someone outside of your situation can always help you to focus on the positives over the negatives because they see what you are refusing to see. When you are present and grateful in this exact moment you’re telling yourself that no matter the circumstances you’re still standing, you’re still capable, and you will still be victorious. There are people who love you right now that are here and waiting to help you and be in your corner. Embrace them and seek the best out of every moment as much as you can.
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Build your faith muscle.
The fact that there is very little that you can guarantee along your life journey, when things go south faith will probably be the only thing that will carry you through. If you think about where you are now, think back to all of the times you made it through a very difficult time in your life. How many times have you been saved? How many times have you been spared? How many times have you came to the edge of losing it all but somehow you rebounded better than before? Your faith is your belief in yourself that says you believe that with each step along your journey–with or without a flashlight–all will be well. Have faith in that which you cannot see with the physical eye.
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Continue to press forward.
The one thing we do not have unlimited amounts of is time. As I am writing this blog post seconds are going by that I will never get back in my life. I cannot replace or redo tomorrow. So therefore, I need to value my time and move forward as best as I can. You do not have all the time in the world that you think you have. Continue on, move on, and succeed and fail forward. Forward is the only direction that truly exists.
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Accept, allow, and be open.
You have your own way of doing things but God has his way–if you believe in him. We all have choices but if you’ve been trying to do things your way and you aren’t finding any success with “your program” chances are you need to try a new program. Be open to new experiences, people, ideals, beliefs, and ways of thinking and doing things that challenge you. This is where you find breakthroughs. Stop leading with what you don’t like and what you don’t want in your life, and instead say “God, I am open to the abundance of endless opportunities that you have for me.” Change your thoughts, change your perspectives.
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Forgive.
Forgive yourself for your past, forgive others that have wronged you, and forgive yourself where you have wronged others. From this moment forward forgive and start anew. Rebuild, heal, and regain your footing. You still have an opportunity to be happy, plentiful, and fulfilled in this life that you live. Your best life is still waiting on you to redeem it!
#Gratitude and #Love
–ISAIAH HANKEL