Why Your Pride and Lack of Transparency is Keeping you in A Box
Pride is Worthless
Pride does nothing for you.
You aren’t any happier today than you were yesterday being prideful. I know all too well how pride has damaged relationships in my life and allowed me to miss out on opportunities to be happy. Fear of hurt and pain from people, distrust, being lied to, cheated on, having things stolen from me, as well as my own insecurities aid in keeping ourselves in a box where we think we will be “safe” from the rigors of the world and real life.
It’s your comfort zone that you are desperately clinging to.
But the truth is that, your comfort zone will never bring you true happiness and fulfillment to you, ever. Of course most people operate with the premise to protect themselves from the world and people, assuming that everyone can’t be trusted or that someone is out to do you harm.
One way to reverse this is to see that every experience that you face in life is the Universe and God working and conspiring for your highest good. It does not benefit you to constantly be critical and apprehensive of everyone you deal with because of fear of being hurt. Your ability to accept the facf that people will hurt you speaks to you emotional and spiritual maturity. The reality is this, we will all mistakes and do you harm at some point, but who you are willing to open up to and become transparent with is a choice only you can make.
This applies to relationships but it definitely goes a lot further than that.
What We Really Want
At the core of who we are as human beings, we all desire the same fundamental things.
I intentionally did not include money because I believe when we find some key things such as love and purpose, the money comes easily. When we chase the money it doesn’t always work out the way we want because the premise behind why we are chasing the money is not in alignment with our true inner-selves. If you’re reading this I want you to think about this closely… What you desire isn’t a lot of money, because money comes and goes. What you desire is something much deeper. The money doesn’t last. Money is inanimate, or in other words it doesn’t have any life. It only get’s meaning through the meaning you give it, by what you do with it. So we don’t want money, that’s not what we want. We want a deeper connection with another person. We want to be loved. We want to espouse love. We want to be recognized for our contribution to the world at large.
That is the true core of our existence!
But in order to get to these higher level aspects of living we have to be willing to open ourselves up so we can connect to others in the world. It is through true and authentic connection with other people that we are empowered to create the experiences that we desire most. You can love yourself all day, which I highly recommend, but that pales in comparison to the love you can give and receive from another person. We exist for this kind of intimate connection, we exist for relationships and bonds with another and it is at the core of our being.
It is not possible to live on an island and cordon yourself away from the rest of the world, and still think that you can reach the heights of fulfillment, success, and happiness in life that you desire.
Talk show host and comedian Steve Harvey is quoted as saying:
“In order for your to reach real success in life you are going to need the help of other people. No one succeeds alone.”
So Why Does Pride and Transparency Matter?
Pride prevents you from opening up.
Mirriam Webster defines pride as “Inordinate self-esteem or conceit.”
It’s like, you are so caught up in yourself and fearful of the opinions of others that you would rather suffer and be inconvenienced, or have to go at something alone rather than reaching out for help from another person. You have that much in the way of mental blockage of yourself that you believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that the rise and fall of your being solely rests on you.
You are gravely mistaken.
The truth is, we all need someone.
All of us.
Some people will say, “You came into this world alone, and you’ll die alone”, and while that may be a true belief for some that isn’t the case for everyone. Your ability to be transparent and look past your prideful and egotistical nature is key to your connecting with others, and when you can connect to others you can build bridges to the spirit of another person who bleeds, hurts, and elates in the same way you do. You can share experiences. You can bond, and you do more to humanize yourself in front of others which allows them to love and see you in the most authentic and genuine way.
The Rise of Social Media has Contributed to the Lack of Transparency
It seems that most people aren’t interested in letting you in on the fact that they are hurting. They aren’t interested in letting you in on the fact that there marriage is falling apart. They aren’t interested in letting you in on the fact that they are barely getting by financially. No one want’s to be ashamed, embarrassed, or criticized. It’s not a good feeling to look bad in front of other people, but here is what I’ve come to understand–more likely than not, everyone around you is going through something, but at different levels. No one is immune to financial issues, no one is immune to failed relationships, no one is immune to conflict, no one is immune. If you have a true and honest conversation with the six closest individuals in your circle I can more than guarantee that they are dealing with something similar to what you’re dealing with.
There is no shame in picking up the phone to ask for help, or letting your network know that you need help finding a job. You have no idea how your story can help impact someone else in a positive light and aid them along their own journey. God can work through you in miraculous ways when you understand him and what he ordains for your life. You are missing out on the joys that can be had in life simply because you choose to allow your pride to stifle your growth and limit your connection to others.
People want to know who you are, and they want to know that you struggle just like they do. Open up and share more. When you do, you will connect more. People will see you more authentically, and they will connect with you more easily. When you choose to display a facade as if your life is perfect and you are immune to the hardships and challenges that life can present you disconnect yourself from all those around you because they know it’s not the reality. I am not telling you to be negative and put all of your business on display, but what I am telling you is that those people that are closest to you will matter most only in your dire time of need. They will understand and through your struggle, you will connect with them. It is during times of turmoil that true long-lasting relationships are tested and created.
It’s all about connection.
Reel back your pride and operate with a more transparent air about yourself. Hiding behind your fears and insecurities does very little in your way of connecting with those around you that matter most.
Stay in Love, and Peace.
Read: Does Blame Help you have Better Relationships?