Here at my Blog, my aim is to talk about topics related to business, technology, as well as personal and professional development, along with a few other areas of passion of mine including online marketing and entrepreneurship–but of course anything I’m feeling is wound to end up on this site!
So, I want to share some thoughts on love, as a sport.
Love is, a game. Love is, a sport with two teams competing for needs. It could also be a sport with three teams, but we won’t go there right now.
But seriously, it’s a process or an activity that involves your competing for resources. Competing for purpose, and happiness. Competing for satisfaction. Competing for…
Well, competing for what exactly??
Have you really sat and thought to yourself, WHY you need love in your life? Why do you want another person to share your space? Is your space that great that people would be fortunate to be in it? I want to reverse your thinking for a second here….
Understand that this post is not about you. It’s about the other person so just follow me.
Think about it, you can’t quantify love in the same way you quantify the amount of food you put in your stomach in satisfying your hunger.
You can’t measure love and say, “This is what I’m giving so this is enough”. Giving love is not necessarily synonymous with receiving.
Think about how you love your children unconditionally–if you have kids. I have a son and I don’t think there will ever be a time when I tell him that I have to “meter” the amount of love he’s receiving from me. Relationships with people should be viewed the same way, if you want it to last that is.
In recent months I’ve had numerous conversations with people that are struggling or flat out losing in the love department. Everything from breaking-up to challenges in keeping the relationship happy and fulfilling. It seems as if everyone is having problems these days in that area, or shall I say, everyone I know.
While this is not the case for everyone, for the majority of people maintaining great relationships is a challenge. This includes friendships as well.
I’ve said this before and I will repeat it again here, which is this: We’ve been pushed into every area of secular education instead of the one area that matters most–interacting and dealing with people.
I talk about some fundamental basics in dealing with people in a blog post I recently wrote on the 15 Ways to Get People to Love and Admire You. These principle are based off of Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. I think it’s an excellent read and a book well worth investing in if you are truly interested in understanding how you can get what you want from people, while at the same time gaining their love, admiration, and respect.
Intimate relationships, dating, and marriages are at times, quite complex. We can never truly understand the motives and drivers of the person that we are involved with. At best, all we know is that we have needs and desires that we selfishly put front and center with the expectation that the other person will get it. We assume that if we are in a relationship with someone that they should know what we like, and what we don’t like.
Too often we fail to take stock and own our role in a relationship with another person. The goal should be to stay together, forever. At least that’s what my years of failed relationships and experience tells me, unless you are someone that likes the idea of jumping from person to person.
I understand that people are wanting to look out for themselves, and love themselves. True enough, you should. You should do everything in your power to ensure that you are physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy and whole.
However, I see too many people that believe that the other person that they are in a relationship with are enemies to them–a conquest of sorts. I also see people that are too absorbed with themselves and solely interested in stroking their own ego to even consider the needs of another person. Popular dating sites and experts are continuously espousing the idea that meeting someone means that they have to be at your feet and live up to your standards. It’s about what they “bring” to the table.
But what about what you bring to the table?
It’s almost like walking into a restaurant, picking up a menu, and if they don’t have what you like you walk out. Unfortunately in this world of instant gratification and options, life doesn’t work like that and neither do people.
It’s very easy and convenient to be bothered with people when things are going well. There is no conflict, everyone is financially stable, healthy, and doing well. It’s a life of convenience. But what happens when you’re with someone and things don’t go so well? What happens when the convenience is gone?
Over the weekend I saw this posted on Instagram:
“This generation is so odd. Almost EVERYBODY is running game but tired of being played but NOT ready to settle down, and ALWAYS lonely.”
Remember when I talked about the two teams previously in this post? You aren’t living and operating for self in this sport we call love. Just like you strategize your offense and defense in any other sport, you have to do the same in relationships, except in this case the key here is for you to not look at the person you are with as an opponent. They ARE YOUR TEAM!
There are entirely too many people in this world that do no understand the value in TEAM. The truth is that we are all living in a world where the idea of giving love and receiving it are skewed. Social media, television, and everything else in between isn’t encouraging people to embrace love and give it away.
You’ve got to understand that you have nothing without the other person. You’ve got yourself and everything you’re able to create and do as a team of one, which from what I’ve seen, doesn’t accomplish much. Love is about the want’s and needs of you, it’s about the wants and needs of two people, which makes it complex–I know. However, when you think about including another person in your space, a partner, a team member, a helpmate when all goes wrong and you need someone to lean on, always remember that the others persons needs and desires come with the territory.
It takes Love to get Love.
Stay in Love, and Peace
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