The Ultimate Battle for a Man: The Desire to Win in Every Area of Life
I think on my manhood quite often, day-in, and day-out to be honest.
Always assessing, and analyzing what it means to be, “me”. At 34 years of age at the writing of this blog post I find myself, finding myself all over again.
You would think after two degrees, doctoral studies, a successful military career in the U.S. Navy, a successful Information Technology career, and travel all over the world, as well as some financial success that I would have everything figured out. The truth is, I haven’t and I’m very transparent about this spiritual path that I’m on now, or shall I say, a path that I’ve been on since the beginning of the year to discover and find significance and purpose.
You see, men are innately designed and conditioned to conquer ALL things. Let me repeat that….
Men are innately designed and conditioned to conquer ALL things.
Most of us are geared to win, even if we aren’t winning the way other people think we should. By the way, this blog post is the start towards a series of writings geared towards men.
So as I was saying, we all want to win. It’s said that there are two primary drivers for men: The desire to succeed (money) and the desire to have companionship (sex). To understand men we need to understand that our logic puts us in a place that is often times more likely than not aligned with our ego’s. It is the self-gratification of knowing that we are KING in our environments. You can clearly see this with certain species of animals in the wild as the male vies for the female or attempts to take center court in securing a certain area and claiming it as his. Men are the same way. Territorial, competitive, and all around innate winners and conquerers.
It is the idea that our family, friends, and our women will look at us in a certain light and respect us if we’re winning. To be judged, put down, and emasculated because we are less than what our loved ones expect is very hurtful. It’s also an attack on a man’s pride. This goes back to his desire to want to conquer and win in every area of life.
When it comes to women, a man ALWAYS wants to do right by his woman. He ALWAYS wants to do right by his family. Even when he’s making mistakes a committed man knows where home is. It is in his DNA to provide and give of himself freely. As a man, everything I am describing in this post echoes from my soul completely. There is no gratifying feeling than knowing that the people closest to you are taken care of. I live for that and I’m more than certain that most men can attest to this.
As men, we are also searching for validation. Validation from society, validation from my family, and validation from the women closest to us. It’s just like getting feedback from a coach. You want approval from the coach as you play the game so you can improve, and the idea of improving and being validated for that improvement is gratifying. In the same sense, it’s also gratifying that a man is approved by his family, colleagues, friends, and the woman closest to him. It’s also necessary that he seek to be approved from the creator, or whoever he deems as his spiritual head.
All of this is not difficult to understand, but there is something on the inside of us that is always in search of that complete “picture”.
That complete picture more often than not looks like this:
A successful career, breadwinner, opportunity creator, impact maker, social influencer, husband, family man, father, and highly respected by his peers.
One of the largest pieces of this complete picture is the woman in his life. I can’t say this enough, and of course most women won’t understand it, but a woman is the reason why men do what they do. There is some incomplete piece of a man that, although he may fight a losing battle in an attempt to keep and maintain his relationship with a woman–he will always have a desire to serve, provide, and protect for one.
This is the mark of a virtuous man.
This man also does not mind making mistakes, and taking risks for himself in seeking a brighter future and for those that are closest to him. He understands that he is truly the centerpiece of all that is taking place around him and that he CANNOT succeed alone. This is why a woman is important to him. Unfortunately, in a society today where relationships are as quick to create as a bag of popcorn in the microwave and as easy to discard of just like ballin’ up a piece of paper and throwing in the trash basket, the decision to CHOOSE one woman is a challenging one. Nonetheless, choosing is what he truly desires deep down in his heart. Sub-consciously he desires for the love that would fill his heart and set him free, but consciously he battles with the idea of choosing the right one and making a commitment that he can honor.
So as the days continue, so does his fight. The fight for recognition, the fight for love, the fight for success, the fight for respect, the fight for doing what matters most deep down in his soul. The fight to be free, the fight to conquer, the fight to be all that he can be. Not only for himself, but for those around him.
The fight to be a MAN.
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