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The Confident Man: A Very Necessary but Endangered Being of Society


Earlier this year I was sitting and pondering a great deal about myself and what it means to be a man, given some really bad circumstances that befell me in the relationship department, and I started down the path of wanting to create something that spoke to us, for us, and by us. I believe this is the beginning of a new direction in my blogging and public speaking career.

Below is a screenshot of that post from January 16, 2015…


In conversation on the topic of men’s issues, I often point to a lack of foundation among men as it pertains to how we operate in life. You can think of it as a baseline of sorts, or a starting point of values and ideals that makes a man who he is. It is a never changing philosophy or doctrine by which you operate your life in all areas.

It’s what I call the 7 pillars of Manhood:








Confidence in men must be bred at an early age. I can see this with my son, now 9 years old. When we are at the park with other kids he effortlessly integrates himself with other children that he does not know. He introduces himself, says hello, and socializes without any coaxing from me. On the flip-side of things, there are other areas where he needs constant motivation and coaxing. However, the key here is that as his father I am always in his ear pushing and motivating him to be better, and independent. This breeds confidence.

What I see with today’s contemporary heterosexual man is a loss of confidence and a man that is working to find his place. Among the emergence of the LBGT movement as a social and civil rights issue, the contemporary man is having to contend with his own image being de-valued. He also has to contend with the very independent and empowered woman that has found a way to mitigate her need for him. If we are speaking of men of color, or minorities, these men have to contend with all of the above plus the likelihood of being imprisoned for petty crimes or murdered due to violent crime. Their chances of falling into poverty and unemployment are higher as well.

So with all of this going on, why is it important that the contemporary man re-build his confident edge?

Its because he is needed. The traditional family unit is suffering from a lack of men, a lack of fatherhood, and a lack of leadership. Women are now filling in all of the gaps that were meant to be filled by men. By the way, I am all for women being successful, empowered both socially and financially, and being leaders, but there is a woman out there that no matter how much money she makes she is still not interested in taking out her own garbage of fixing her sink.

The confident, contemporary, heterosexual man is disappearing among the different perversions of men that exist in society today. The confident man is necessary because he is the starting point of the family unit. He takes a wife, bores children with that woman, and builds a long-lasting legacy that transcends him even after he is gone.

“He” is missing in so many areas, shapes, and forms of society that he is being replaced by “other” contrived notions of what a man should be. What is even more frightening is that these other notions of acceptable men are now largely celebrated in society. America, a country that accepts and embraces everyone no matter their race, sex, religion, or creed. I love this country and I served it honorably in the U.S. Navy in protecting those liberties and freedoms that we all enjoy so by no means am I attacking anyone. However, I am interested in bringing back the confident man, the man that want’s to be the gentleman, the man that want’s to be a leader, the man that want’s to be a good father, the man that wants to be a good husband to his wife, and the man that want’s to be a leader.

The confident man that I reference here is the consummate, contemporary, hetero-sexual man that has lost his popularity.

Let’s find and re-build these men.

They are needed more than they care to realize.

#Gratitude #Empowering Men

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