More often than not, on a daily basis, I always see the sexes (men and women) attacking each other when it comes to dating and relationships. Most don’t seem to understand how visible their insecurities and fears can be when it comes to social media. It seems that people take the negative experiences surrounding relationships and use it as a beacon for their beliefs and values on the topic of relationships. We’ve all been through heartbreak at some point or another, but it’s all in how you deal with heartbreak that says the most about your character and who you are.
So I would like to address the men in this post, specifically….
I am speaking to all of the single men, especially the ones that complain about the quality and availability of women. Without regard to race, creed, or color of a woman, going forward I want you to take 100% responsibility for your role in future relationships. I do not care if you have made miilions of mistakes in the past when it comes to your interactions with women, today you can decide to change, be more, do more, and be better, right now. How your interactions begin will ultimately determine, to a large extent, how things end. So in other words, if your intention was not to get to know her and develop a relationship with a clear intent, at some point along the line when things go wrong you will find yourself frustrated and disappointed. Being intentional means that you are setting the tone from the beginning, and at least if things do not work out you can’t place the blame on her when it is you that should have set the expectation. Also, aim high when it comes to women. Even if marriage is not your intent I would encourage you to make marriage your target and let me tell you why……..
As a man, when you intentionally aim for marriage your thoughts, actions, and activities will automatically align with that purpose. Operating with this intention will also produce a different type of woman that shows up in your life because if she is in alignment with the same thoughts and actions, available and ready, it’s only a matter of time before you all cross paths. Since marriage is something that the majority of people do not want it’s necessary to operate in such a way that you are doing all you can to get what you ultimately want. I say “get” what you ultimately want because I am convinced that EVERY human being walking this earth wants to be loved. I am also of the belief that we are at our best when we give love. We were designed this way and unfortunately most people are walking around ignoring this fact out of pride and fear. All of this starts in the beginning when you meet someone, which is why this is so important. It’s all about being in that energy and this will be very apparent if you’ve COMMITTED to that purpose.
Similarly, in the same sense when you made a commitment going into 2015 that you would work out and get in shape, the exact same principles apply. When the aim is marriage, by default your actions, activities, and conversations will align to that purpose. Not only will it align to that purpose but you will simultaneously begin to ATTRACT and also WEED OUT individuals who aren’t in alignment with that.
As a man, when you are freely dating without purpose you will find yourself in frustrating situations that you will blame her for, but in fact, it is you that has to be intentional with how you architect your interactions with women. She does not dictate your flow, you do. She may or may not be able to reason the way you do as a man. She, in her essence, reasons with her emotions and most men tend to be more logical. As a man, as a leader, set the tone and avoid being indecisive about the decisions you make with her and for her. At the end of the day when it’s all over, you don’t want to leave anything on the table that says that you did not own your responsibilities as a man. Be able to walk away in good faith, learn from your mistakes, and go into the next situation with a clearer intent to find love.
We all need it.
Stay in Love, and Peace.