Why the Idea of Failure is an Illusion that Appears Real
How easy is it for us to just stay where we are, nice and comfy, without worry? No concern of growth or progress. Just straddle halfway up the ladder and stay there. Isn’t life so much better when we aren’t progressing and growing? Think about it. If you are reading this, think about where you are in life right now. You probably have a pretty good job, or perhaps a great career or business. Things are going pretty well, I will assume. You’re right where you need to be and that’s a good thing! Covering all of your bases so that you eliminate worry, stress, and problems. Of course, everyones idea of success is relative. You might be someone who makes six-figures on their job, you have a really nice position with good benefits, a car, and you probably own a home. To you, that’s success. That could be your ceiling, or the top for you. You might feel like, “Hey, I’ve gotten this far I’m good. No need for me to reach for anything more.” While my opinion may not matter, allow me to give it to you anyway. You might consider that success, but I consider that mediocrity.
Let me tell you why…
According to the Pew Research Institute did you know that the median household income in the United States for a family of 4 is around $51,000? So, if you make a six-figure income on your job or in your career you are above average in net income on paper, but you are probably just as poor from a net worth standpoint as those families that average around $51k for household income. Basically, your disposable income is far and few in between and you’re probably living from paycheck to paycheck. This is the story for most Americans unfortunately and what you see is a society of people that settle for the life that they are living over the life that they could be living. There are a myriad of reasons for this, but consider that America is a society based on consumerism. We are not a society that is encouraged to produce or create. We are encouraged through media, advertising, and marketing to buy, buy, buy! So why the all-time high of people accepting mediocrity? Because we are forced to be comfortable in our society. Comfort as in, just make enough money, just have enough time on the job to get a retirement and medical benefits, keep just enough house, hold on to it–don’t do anything stupid. Let’s just stay right here! It’s safe here. We don’t have to worry about anything!
Or do you?
There is a reason why pushing yourself is necessary to see real success and fulfillment in life beyond your failures. Failure is designed to test whether or not you have the courage to push on. It is only through repeated action that you learn anything, and through repeated action is when you will have one failure, after another, after another. The only way to avoid “failure” is to do nothing. Last time I checked, doing nothing get’s you nothing, so what are the alternatives?
You either go head first through the fire, or, just stay where you are. SAFE.
I know so many people that “played it safe” up until the crash in 2008 and what happened to them? I’m pretty sure you know very well, you’re probably one of them. So how does “playing it safe” really help us to be successful and fulfilled in life? The answer is, it doesn’t help it all. Failure is actually thinking that if you play by the rules in society, in the same way as everyone else, that you will be on the path to success. This is so far from the truth. There is no blueprint for success–except for the one that you create for yourself.
So what does all of this have to do with failure being an illusion?
Consider the social constructs that have been put in place to control you. In our society, higher education is suppose to lead to higher incomes and greater in success in life. If you don’t have the education, you won’t be able to land the high paying jobs, and if you can’t land the high paying job, you won’t be successful. Everything we do in life is all based off of career and how we make our money. So what you find is that most people participate in what appears to be “the norm” of how success is created. Or at least what someone told them, or what they’ve been led to believe. However, if you fail it’s considered the end all be all. You lose a job, you get laid off or downsized, you lose a car, you lose a home. For most people, it’s challenging for them to even figure out how they would recover from something like this.
The key here is to recognize that failure is an opportunity for you to start over, go in a new direction, come up with a better strategy, and reinvent yourself. Failure should also be seen as a time to learn a lesson. All of this and the acceptance of it begins in your mind. You have to understand that the path to greatness and accomplishment is littered with traps and holes that will cause you to fail. If you never attempted to try anything new, you would never learn anything new. You will always be the same person you’ve always been, no progress, no growth, no stories to tell, and nothing to share with the world around you all because you chose to “play it safe”. You chose the comfort zone. You chose the road less traveled. Fear and embarrassment are illusions that you have to ignore and embrace at the same time. Your destiny is beyond the realms of the unknown. We understand what happens in the realistic areas of our lives, but what about those areas of growth and development that we can’t see?
Read my last post on understanding your vision
Faith and belief at times when you truly don’t know what else to do are the only two things that you will be able to embrace in helping you onto your path. Your path to your ultimate life!
Here are a few suggestions of things I do when I feel the angst of failure caving in on me mentally:
1) If you believe in God, pray and ask for wisdom, ideas, resources, and the right people to help you overcome whatever challenge you may be going through. Speaking and thinking these things into existence is important. You need to align your words and thoughts and this takes discipline. Conscious discipline. Also ask him for forgiveness and ask him to help you release feelings of guilt when things haven’t gone the way you thought.
2) Take 100% responsibility, in your mind, for any and everything that happens in your life.
3) Believe–100%– that you can start over today, right from where you are and create the life you want. Close your eyes and just say to yourself, “I am releasing all fear, worry, and overwhelm.” Free yourself of it all because there is so much that is out of your control. You can control your thoughts, you can control what you say, and you can control what you do but you cannot control other people, what they do, and what they say. Always remember this.
By all means, keep in mind that you never fail. Society and your own conditioning has convinced you that “failure” is the worst thing in the world. It’s there to handicap your creative side and prevent you from overcoming.
Failure is your journey. It’s a succession of steps from where you are to where you want to be.
It simply allows you to understand quicker than most what works and what doesn’t. It’s an opportunity to learn, adjust, and fine tune your life. So fail more often, and more quickly. The sooner you get it out of the way the closer you will be to living your ultimate life!
Stay in Love, and Peace. #CantaveTalk